I remember Christmas as such an exciting and joyful time as a kid... Parties and presents and pretty dresses... My mom saying yes to things she usually said no to, like cookies or playing games with me at the kitchen table or letting me help her bake. Seeing cousins and aunts and uncles we didn't normally see, and spending more time with the grandparents.
And then there was the magical, mystical quality of it all...
Waking up on Christmas morning, padding downstairs where the lights on the tree were still on to see a huge mound of presents in the place where I left my empty stocking the night before. A mound of presents left by a fat guy who came down my chimney...? All in return for some hot cocoa and a couple of cookies? Which, incidentally, was an idea that I bought into for a really, really, really long time.
And I really liked going to church only on Christmas Eve because they did the candle thing and even as a little kid, I thought that was really pretty and peaceful. Plus I knew that when we got home, there was a party at our house and we would get to open a present and then it wasn't long until Santa would come!
When I think of Christmas in childhood, I think of joy, peace, excitement, love.
What I never felt as a child during Christmas time was...stressed out.
As an adult...
I returned home from a workshop in Texas on December 3rd. I was weary from the work and the travel and so glad to be home. I walked through the gate and into the airport sighing with relief and thought to myself, Ah. Denver. I'm so glad I don't have to go anywhere until... Crap. Two weeks. Seriously? Less than two weeks. I have to leave for Michigan in less than two weeks?!!! Are you kidding me?! I haven't bought one present or baked one thing! How could this be?!
Christmas time is so... stressful.
Do I have enough time to order that for her? Can I get it in that size? Did you deliver this to that person? Did you buy them a ____? Do we have enough money to pay for the gas? Are we at your family's house for the same amount of time we are at mine? What are my brothers going to make fun of me about this year? How much poop am I going to have to clean out of the car seats? Is she going to like this? They have everything. What kind of a gift can I even buy them?...
And all of these things always seems to sneak up on me.
So, this year, after realizing I had less than two weeks until we got in a car to go visit family... I made a list. I checked it twice. And on the second check, I simply crossed out a bunch of stuff that I could skip (or do after Christmas) and attempt to keep my sanity. I didn't bake anything. Seriously. Not. One. Thing. I didn't buy my kids presents. Seriously. The Sunday before we left for Michigan I filled up their stockings with cool travel games to keep them busy in the car, but that was it. Then we went to see the Muppets as a family. Somehow we still have more toys and games than we know what to do with. I only took on one photo project that consisted of 8 pictures. And sin of all Must Do Christmas Tradition sins, I didn't send out Christmas cards or get our family pictures taken. (If you happened to notice not getting a Christmas card with a picture of our smiling family on it, now you know why.)
And still, even after eliminating all of those things from my list of things to do, the prevailing feeling was not joy, peace, excitement, or love. It was stress.
Granted, it was wonderful to see all of the family that we got to see. It was super fun to play Farkle with the families and go out for drinks with my brothers and sisters in law. It was awesome to watch my boys have so much fun with their cousins and grandparents.
But it seems as though I am finding more joy in normal life these days, more peace in the day to day, more excitement about my cup of delicious coffee in the morning, more love in the way Nolan asks every evening, "Nuggle, Mama? Nuggle?"
I used to be a self-proclaimed "Special Day Junkie." Now I love when my life is quiet and ordinary. Does that mean I'm getting old? Or wiser?
Regardless... Now that whirlwind of stress and chaos is over, it's beginning to feel a lot like Christmas around here... Joyful, peaceful, loving...just in time to take down the tree and all of the decorations.
Saturday, December 31, 2011
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
Things I like about Texas
1. Micheal my brother lives there.
2. If a man has been anywhere in the general vicinity when I am getting into a vehicle with a piece of luggage, I have never been allowed to load it into that vehicle.
3. When I ordered fajitas and a margarita at the airport the other day, the woman asked me if my order was "for here or to go."
The End.
2. If a man has been anywhere in the general vicinity when I am getting into a vehicle with a piece of luggage, I have never been allowed to load it into that vehicle.
3. When I ordered fajitas and a margarita at the airport the other day, the woman asked me if my order was "for here or to go."
The End.
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
Things I like about the PNW
I like that everything is SO GREEN in the Pacific Northwest.
I like that when I'm there, I ALWAYS feel like curling up with a hot drink and a good book is a great idea, and I don't feel guilty if I spend a large amount of time curled up like that... because it's always rainy outside and cozy inside.
I like that the trees are HUGE.
I like that when the sun does come out, you're amazed at what is all around you, because when it's cloudy, you can't see it.
I like that three of my best girlfriends are there, and even though we haven't all been together in...years, when we went out for dessert one night and just sat down together, I felt like I was coming home. Like we met for dessert every Tuesday night to hang out and cry and laugh and be just us... just those silly college girls who are grown ups now, who still talk about boys and the hurt they cause, still talk about dreams and how they might reach them, still gush about the beauty in people, and the joy in the every day.
I like that the people are mountain, adventurey, Denverish people who can live without 300+days of sunshine a year.
I like that it feels... friendly. A little small town, but sophisticated and intelligent... I don't know, maybe it's that whole "I like to sit around coffee shops writing, talking, and acting intellectual" thing it's got going for it. I wonder if the fact that I like that culture makes me a snob. Or if it makes me one of those people who "likes to sit around coffee shops writing, talking, and acting intellectual." Even if I don't wear a beret or dress in all black.
I like that when I'm there, I ALWAYS feel like curling up with a hot drink and a good book is a great idea, and I don't feel guilty if I spend a large amount of time curled up like that... because it's always rainy outside and cozy inside.
I like that the trees are HUGE.
I like that when the sun does come out, you're amazed at what is all around you, because when it's cloudy, you can't see it.
I like that three of my best girlfriends are there, and even though we haven't all been together in...years, when we went out for dessert one night and just sat down together, I felt like I was coming home. Like we met for dessert every Tuesday night to hang out and cry and laugh and be just us... just those silly college girls who are grown ups now, who still talk about boys and the hurt they cause, still talk about dreams and how they might reach them, still gush about the beauty in people, and the joy in the every day.
I like that the people are mountain, adventurey, Denverish people who can live without 300+days of sunshine a year.
I like that it feels... friendly. A little small town, but sophisticated and intelligent... I don't know, maybe it's that whole "I like to sit around coffee shops writing, talking, and acting intellectual" thing it's got going for it. I wonder if the fact that I like that culture makes me a snob. Or if it makes me one of those people who "likes to sit around coffee shops writing, talking, and acting intellectual." Even if I don't wear a beret or dress in all black.
Monday, December 5, 2011
Things I like about Airports
1. It always feels exciting to go there. Even if you're just going to Texas.
2. When it's Christmas time, and I'm returning from a trip, it feels so.... Christmasy. So Joyful and Welcoming.
3. Watching people waiting for their loved ones to arrive... it is such a beautiful experience. I think I would enjoy coming to the airport to just people watch in the arrival area. When I come home from a trip when I parked at the airport, and I get off of the train, I always look for someone I know waiting for me at that arrival area. And I always get a little sad (I confess, sometimes I even get a bit teary-eyed) when there is no one there waiting for me. (Give me a break, I am usually coming home from a work trip where 4 hours of sleep is a good night's rest, and waking up at 4am is a normal experience.) Even when I know that no one will be there waiting for me, I still want to meet someone I love there and hug them hello. And the car hello when they pull up to the curb is still good, but it just isn't anywhere nearly as cool.
Every time I have flown home with the boys and Grammie Mel is waiting at the end of the hallway for us, I am overwhelmed with the beauty of this "reunion moment." She stands there past security calling out for Daniel, and Daniel runs as fast as his little legs will allow with his roller suitcase bouncing behind him. And they hug. And Daniel tells her about something silly, and they laugh. And then he jumps up and down for the next half hour that it takes to get the luggage and car seats and get to the car to see Papa Keys.
4. The smell of the curbside pickup arrival area. You know the spot that I'm talking about. Where you go after you get your luggage and someone drives by, loads you in the car and drives away? There is a smell there, and every single airport I've ever been to smells the same. Sometimes the experience is a bit different because of the season or place, but they all smell the same. And every single airport takes me back to one of two places. 1. The bus stop as a child. Waiting for the bus to pick me up or just getting dropped off, relieved to be home. 2. Waiting for my dad to pick me up from the airport to spend Christmas with the family.
Regardless, there is something so nostalgic to me in bus fumes. I know that's weird, but it makes me feel a little excited, a little nervous, a little relieved... Who'd a thunk? Bus fumes.
5. Most people are very much in need of a good laugh at the airport, because they're rushing or exhausted or listened to a child scream their whole flight. That makes it really easy for a joke to go over well, and smiling at other people for no particular reason is really well-received as well. I always like it when I have an easy audience.
2. When it's Christmas time, and I'm returning from a trip, it feels so.... Christmasy. So Joyful and Welcoming.
3. Watching people waiting for their loved ones to arrive... it is such a beautiful experience. I think I would enjoy coming to the airport to just people watch in the arrival area. When I come home from a trip when I parked at the airport, and I get off of the train, I always look for someone I know waiting for me at that arrival area. And I always get a little sad (I confess, sometimes I even get a bit teary-eyed) when there is no one there waiting for me. (Give me a break, I am usually coming home from a work trip where 4 hours of sleep is a good night's rest, and waking up at 4am is a normal experience.) Even when I know that no one will be there waiting for me, I still want to meet someone I love there and hug them hello. And the car hello when they pull up to the curb is still good, but it just isn't anywhere nearly as cool.
Every time I have flown home with the boys and Grammie Mel is waiting at the end of the hallway for us, I am overwhelmed with the beauty of this "reunion moment." She stands there past security calling out for Daniel, and Daniel runs as fast as his little legs will allow with his roller suitcase bouncing behind him. And they hug. And Daniel tells her about something silly, and they laugh. And then he jumps up and down for the next half hour that it takes to get the luggage and car seats and get to the car to see Papa Keys.
4. The smell of the curbside pickup arrival area. You know the spot that I'm talking about. Where you go after you get your luggage and someone drives by, loads you in the car and drives away? There is a smell there, and every single airport I've ever been to smells the same. Sometimes the experience is a bit different because of the season or place, but they all smell the same. And every single airport takes me back to one of two places. 1. The bus stop as a child. Waiting for the bus to pick me up or just getting dropped off, relieved to be home. 2. Waiting for my dad to pick me up from the airport to spend Christmas with the family.
Regardless, there is something so nostalgic to me in bus fumes. I know that's weird, but it makes me feel a little excited, a little nervous, a little relieved... Who'd a thunk? Bus fumes.
5. Most people are very much in need of a good laugh at the airport, because they're rushing or exhausted or listened to a child scream their whole flight. That makes it really easy for a joke to go over well, and smiling at other people for no particular reason is really well-received as well. I always like it when I have an easy audience.
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