The Trick to Cuter (and better-behaved) Kids!

So... my kids have gotten cuter in the past few weeks.

They're not any different.  They don't look differently or act differently or speak differently, but they are much much cuter.

And it has way more to do with how I see them than it does with how they are.

I am finding out what everyone's been telling me their whole lives... I have really cool kids.  I always knew this on some level, but I just couldn't see it.

I was too busy trying to build them into what I thought they should be.  Too busy trying to make them fit the mold of well-behaved, good-charactered children to see who they are and see who God made them to be.  I was too busy trying to succeed at motherhood to look at them and enjoy who they are.  Too worried about whether or not others thought I was a good mom.  Trying so hard to earn the, "Your children are so well-behaved.  You are such a great mom." compliments.

But the thing is, when I am not so uptight about their behavior and how they make me look... they behave better than when I am uptight about it.  When I take the time to sit and listen to them and answer their questions and hear about how Daniel pretended to be Yoshi, then Bowser, then Toad, then Donkey Kong, then Yellow Yoshi, Pink Yoshi, and Jr. Bowser this morning, but he can't decide who he's going to be after lunch. And when I take the time to play with him and be Daisy or Princess Peach (which, by the way I have no idea how to do), he looks at me with beautiful blue eyes and says, "I love you so much, Mama."  And, while I generally find the whole pretending games to be pretty annoying because for Daniel, it's more about choosing the characters (and changing his mind about it) than actually playing, now I realize that it's an odd and endearing quirk that someday will translate into something really cool.

And I don't have to worry about that, because, while he is my son, my brain, my heart, my everything is not in him.  His brain, his heart, his everything is in him.  This is a weird phenomenon that happens when you have a child and you don't know it's going to happen or when it is happening, but when we become parents, at some point, someone actually has to tell us this obvious thing that our sons and daughters have their own thoughts and emotions, etc.

And when I just hug Nolan when he needs a hug and just watch him (because he doesn't want me to talk to him or play with him usually), he laughs even more belly laughs and snuggles even better snuggles.

And when I look at them with these eyes, with the "you are... who you are" eyes, I see beautiful children who I really like to spend time with.  And I don't need anyone to tell me that I'm doing a good job.  I don't need anyone to notice that I work hard to care for them.

Because when I see them as people, I can appreciate them.  When I see them as walking compilations of my successes, faults, or failures, they are no longer people, just the things I wish I had done better.  I really really like looking at them and seeing a tall gangly blond 4 year old kid with the vocabulary and spiritual inquiry of a college student and a stocky, giggly ham who loves to snuggle with nigh-night, make people laugh, and irritate his older brother.  It is way more fun to just be a parent to two goofy kids than it is to look at my kids and only see the things that are wrong with me and how I do things.

I'm saying this all in past tense as though I'll never go back there again, as though I'll never get too busy to appreciate my children again, as though I'll never try to control how they interpret things or see things or say things, etc.  But I know I will.  I know I won't see them with the "right" eyes all of the time, but just knowing that when I do see them with the "right" eyes, we all have more fun together is a big incentive.

Because Someday They'll Be Big.

So, the other day, before Dr. Mario could eradicate all of the viruses from our home, the boys and I decided that it would be fun to watch Toy Story 3 together.

And you see, I blubber like a baby when I watch this show.  The first part gets me all teary, the home movies of a little boy playing, taken, I'm sure when the mom or dad had just enough time to think, Gosh, this is cute.  I bet I'll want to remember how cute he was someday. 

But then the reality hits that the little boy is big.  He's going off to college.  His room probably smells like a hockey bag.  And as the cute little boys and I snuggle on the couch all achy and sick, I look over at their cute crusty noses and sob and think, someday they're not gonna want to snuggle on the couch with me anymore.  They'll be big and smell like boy and they'll be too embarrassed to hug me.


So, of course, Nolan points to my face, frowns and says, "Crying, Mama.  Cry."  And Daniel, sensitive soul that he is, says, "Mama!  Why are you crying?!"

"Because, honey, someday you will be big, and you won't want to hug me."

"Can I hug you now, Mama?"

"Of course you can, honey, of course you can."

Not to be outdone by his older brother, Nolan comes barreling onto my lap, "Me too, Mama.  Meeee tooooo!"  The pushing and shoving of brotherhood already in full swing.

"I will hug you when I get big, Mama."  Daniel says, so concerned.  His blue eyes big and sincere.
"Me too, Mama.  Me too," says Nolan.

Funny, I don't believe them.  Not that they don't mean it.  They just don't know what it means to be a teenager yet.  They just don't know the long winding road they have ahead of them.

Just like I, most times, don't know what it means to "cherish them while they're young."  Because right now they're so... crusty-nosed and whiny and oatmeal-smearing and juice-spilling... But they're also... crusty-nosed and oatmeal-smearing... And it's cute, the noses.  The innocence.  The bubble bath-smelling.

And I know I should see them as their adorable selves more often, appreciate the way that they are now with sleepy-head hair, dinosaur t-shirt and diaper, bright orange shorts combined with a button-down Cars pajama top...

I should appreciate their goofy little kid quirks and strange way they see the world.  I should look at Nolan needing to be snuggled and Danny wanting to play with me as opportunities to love, not interruptions to something I have to get done because...

Someday they'll be big and smelly.

Mario World Pictures

My son has an obsession... And I may feed it, or support it, or, I don't know, but you see, my husband has appointed me "Head of the Department of Fun" in our family.  As you can see from the pictures below, I take my job very, very seriously.

 Here are the (from L to R) Yoshi, Princess Peach, Mario, and Luigi costumes I made the family for Halloween this year.  I got one idea and then another and another, and I was having a good time, so we dressed up the whole family!  This may be where I began to feed the obsession.

When I began brainstorming ideas about Daniel's  birthday party, I  started with the Petey Piranhas.  You see, they were the only decorations I was going to do.  Cheap.  Easy.  Cute.  Fun.

But then I realized that making some mushrooms would be cute and easy too.

And we ran out of red construction paper, so then came the  1ups.

And what is a Mario Party without Goombas?

And, of course, every party is a better party with a cup full o' mustaches.

And the construction paper decor just keeps going....

And going...

This is where the kids played "Be Yoshi and Get the Goombas" by knocking over the Goombas with their  "Yoshi Tongues."

And, of course our Super Mario World Adventure included  gathering coins and star cookies from various question mark boxes throughout Super Mario World.

Daniel's favorite part!

Nolan doing what he does best... Destroying cupcakes.

Even the Mario Characters were all partied out by the end.

This Head of the Department of Fun declares creating a small piece of Mario World a  "Super Fun Adventure."  I may have had more fun than the kids... It's pretty cool when the nostalgic childhood memories for a parent connect with her child, because this was super fun for me.

Mario World turns into Mario Hospital.

So, a week ago, our home was transformed into the Super Mario Brothers Super World.  We had mustaches, Goombas, Mushrooms (no, not that kind-- it was a kid's party for crying out loud!), Petey Piranhas, 1ups, question mark boxes filled with coins and star cookies, and even Princess Peach was taken into Bowser's castle so our little Marios and Luigis could rescue her and receive prizes. 


One day later, it became Super Mario Hospital housing patients with the flu, conjunctivitis, and strep.  Poor Dr. Mario (Jeff) was the only mostly healthy one of the bunch, able to avoid the truck that ran me over and left bones aching that I, didn't know I had.  Dr. Mario also did an amazing job making at least 14 viruses disappear in the middle of the night as Yoshi (Daniel) vomited them out all night long. Baby Mario (Nolan), however, decided to hoard some viruses in his eye after an allergic reaction to adult soap.  


Nurse Peach (me) decided it was time to get to the bottom of all the sickness, so she enlisted the help of Dr. Luigi at the Urgent Care.  When it was revealed that the Strep-io bacteria was the cause of apple-sized tonsils and a very strange voice in Nurse Peach, she decided to eradicate the Strep-io by checking  Yoshi and Baby Mario's tonsils as well.  


So after getting more pills for Dr. Mario2 to make the bugs disappear, Nurse Peach began to investigate.  She did major observance of Yoshi and Baby Mario. What she found was not surprising.  Yoshi does quite well with the elbow coughing and runny nose wiping, even if he does stick his tongue out an inordinate amount.  However, Baby Mario's hygene seemed to be alarmingly bad.  You see, he puts small objects, like his toy tow truck, Mater, into his Gatorade and pulls it out to lick the Gatorade off of this toy truck.  Then, he places his dirty, stew-covered spoon back in the drawer with the clean silverware.


I am curious as to how many times he has done this.  He did it so quietly and   
quickly that I am sure this was not the first time, and I am sure the silverware drawer was filthy before I discovered this little problem.  At least the silverware drawer has been disinfected.  Now on to disinfecting the rest of the house.  I think Nurse Peach needs one of those invincibility stars.