On Being a Cheerleader...

So, I just posted about my friend, Marz, being like my own personal cheerleader, and I realized, I have several of those in my life, and that characteristic of telling another person that they are really good at something is kind of hard to come by, and it's really hard to have without someone else's support....

What I mean to say is... When someone else sees something good in me, I am better able to see the good in others and say it out loud.  When no one sees the good in me, I, not only see the negative in myself, I also see the negative things in others, even if there is mostly good.

And I have a few awesome "good-seers" for friends, like, Kelly Jones-Wagy, who makes me do stuff I wouldn't do unless she told me I could... like competing in a triathlon, which I now love and want everyone I know to compete in one with me.  She's always telling me how awesome my kids are and how awesome of a writer I am and all this stuff that I doubt about myself and my abilities...

Or, Caroline, who is always begging me to put the work in to get published.

Or Kimi, who can't believe that I would 'just make bread from scratch.'

Or my neighbor, Ali, who can't believe I would 'just invite (her) over for dinner because (she) is a new neighbor and that's just so nice.'

Or Wandee who tells me I'm amazing for helping her when I come over to her house, eat her food, and glue on six ribbons to an insanely beautiful set-up of bird-house nests and decorations and ridiculously intricate cake details that she created.  Or who calls me for the SOLE REASON of telling me that I looked amazing when she saw me earlier that day.... WHO DOES THAT?!  Wandee does.

Or my sister-in-law, Lisa, who tells me every time she sees me that she applies the "What would Emma do?" method to her parenting, when I have never ever had to do many of the things she's had to do as a parent, and I'm sure I wouldn't handle them with nearly the grace and gratitude that she has...

Or my other sister-in-law, Melissa, who always tells me if my butt's smaller or my hair's cuter than last time she saw me when she is clearly way more hip and stylish in her 30s than I have ever been in my whole life.

And I could go on and on..

What a cool thing that I have so many cool women in my life that are such great "seers of good," "noticers of effort."

And yet, I am not a "seer of good" myself.  Most of the time, I am telling myself how pathetic I am because I don't get the dishes or laundry done.  (Newsflash, neither are ever done.)  Or how incapable I am because I didn't call the doctor to reschedule this or get that chapter written or call that friend to tell her it was going to be okay or put that away or go on that hike in 5 years or finish that degree or make that child poop in the potty every time or...

And I think I'm not accomplishing anything because there is no clear beginning, middle, and end to anything I do currently.  But... I guess, maybe I'm just in the middle of everything that I began a long time ago and there is no end in sight.  This is really hard for me for some reason.

I am writing a book.  I think I started it 3 years ago in my mind, and I have no idea when it will be finished.
I am working out.  I will never be done working out, and the idea of "reaching a 'goal weight'" is nowhere in sight.
I am researching.  I am not sure where it is going or what I am hoping to learn, but I'm reading and looking up stuff and learning new things.
I am parenting.  The boys are not perfect.  They are not awful.  And what they are is not even an indicator of who I am, which is hard to understand.
I am working.  I travel all over the "Great State of Texas"  (Great is, of course, referring to size;) training teachers.
I am cooking.  Generally 3 meals a day, 7 days a week.
I am cleaning... when I am not so angry about the fact that nothing ever stays clean, to actually go through with cleaning it.
I am writing poetry at least once a month when I remember to respond to the prompt Bill sends to me.
I am harvesting a garden.
I started a writer's group.
I am going to present to a group of MOPS moms in two weeks on my eventual book...
I am scheduling playdates.
I am volunteering at Danny's school.
I am being a nurse to an almost 2-year-old with a broken arm
I am planning two vacations and parties.
I am attempting to be a good wife, sister, friend, niece...

Could it be possible that I have completely unrealistic expectations for myself?  Because I get mad at myself for dropping things or having to reschedule things or forgetting that I made that plan with this person or this didn't get cleaned or put away...

And I think I should be able to do it all... And I think everyone in my immediate circle either 1)IS DOING everything that I can't do a good job doing or 2) SHOULD BE ABLE to do everything that I expect myself to be able to do.

Weird.  And totally not fair.

I guess, maybe the point is that I should be a better "good-seer" to others, and maybe my expectations will be more realistic, and my recognition of things deserving of a compliment or helping hand will be better.  And that makes every relationship I have more positive and... more fun.

And I am always up for more fun.... Give me an "F"! Give me a "U"! Give me an "N"!...

(I started writing it and wanted to end at the "U", but then I realized I was asking for an "F-U."  and that's just not good.)  

I'm going to make a conscious effort to see more cool things in others, especially those who I usually have unrealistic expectations for.

Anybody up for trying this experiment with me?