The Tales of Plumperton

“Are you Plumperton?  Are you Plumperton?” this is my husband’s newest nickname for… well, I’m not even sure whose nickname it is.

He started out asking Nolan if he was Plumperton, then Daniel, then they decided that Plumperton is one of the bunnies that lives in our backyard (or at least visits it regularly).   Immediately after this decision, the boys decided that it would be fun to chase Plumperton around and around the backyard.  The only problem with this is that they were both able to get really really close to Plumperton.  Of course, my Mama Bear instinct went into overdrive thinking, Oh crap, what if they catch Plumperton and he bites one of them and has some crazy rabbit disease and my boys are Plumpertonized for life?!  But I don’t stop them from running around after Plumperton because what toddler can run fast enough to catch a rabbit?  And on top of that, maybe they’ll sleep better later because they ran around so much.  I know I’m being a silly mama, but apparently I am still haunted by the worry of my children being Plumpertonized because later that night I become Plumpertonized in my dreams.  Seriously.  It was horrifying.  Plumperton was in our house.  In the kitchen.  And I chased him around and around the kitchen table.  The worst part was that I CAUGHT HIM.  And then I didn’t know what to do.  I held him up in front of my face and stood there squirming and screaming while all of the boys just stood there. 

It made for a fitful sleep, this being Plumpertonized.  I remember being in this almost awake and panic-stricken phase of sleep at one point during the night.  When I woke up, Jeff brought Nolan into our room and said, “Here’s Plumperton!”

So I said, “I had a dream about Plumperton last night!”

And Jeff burst out laughing. “That’s what that was all about?!”

“What?”

“You were laying there going, “Plumperton.  Plumperton.  Plumperton.” Flailing around like crazy.”

“You didn’t even help me!”

He was laughing at me when I was getting Plumpertonized.  How rude.

I know what you’re thinking.  You’re thinking, what in the world does this Plumpertonization look like and why are you so afraid of it?  Of course, in my mind, it involves becoming unnecessarily plump, of course.  And what could be more terrifying than being bit by a radioactive plumpness-causing rabbit? There is nothing more terrifying than that. So, now I must go work out before I become Plumperton.